Keira Knightley

When Keira Knightley took the role of Elizabeth Swann in the hugely successful Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl four years ago, it was her big Hollywood break. Now, $1.5 million in box office loot later, the world braced itself for the juggernaut Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End this past summer, and Knightley is now a bona fide film star.

It has been a busy four years. After all, installing yourself on the Hollywood A-list is no easy task. But those who think the 22-year-old British beauty has just suddenly found herself on the brink of joining that rarefied breed are sorely mistaken. Knightley’s rise to fame didn’t happen when she began fraternizing with pirates – she has been charming casting directors with her legendary pout for much longer than most of us think.

At age three, Knightley asked her parents to hire an agent. By the age of nine, the ambitious youngster had landed her first film role, a small part in A Village Affair. More film and TV roles followed. At the tender age of 14, Knightley landed her first role in a big Hollywood movie as Padme, in the 1999 Star Wars prequel, The Phantom Menace.

Within two years, she had landed her first sizable part in the teen horror, The Hole, which was soon followed up with the role of footballer Jules in Bend It Like Beckham - generally considered to be her breakthrough.

It was a steady, seemingly inexorable rise which culminated with the first Pirates film in 2003. From that point on, Knightley has been living out her dream.The industry kudos that goes with huge box office smashes like Pirates of the Caribbean:The Curse of the Black Pearl and the 2003 Brit hit, Love Actually, has resulted in Knightley taking on commanding lead roles, ranging from a bounty hunter in Domino, to Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, both in 2005. Knightley’s credibility as an actress skyrocketed when she received a Best Actress nomination for her role in Pride and Prejudice.

So far, so perfect. Her star has continued to shine brighter with every role, and with that, her media profile has shot into the stratosphere. Last year’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest became one of only three films to break $1 billion at the box office. Knightley – who admits she always craved attention – now gets it wherever she goes. That dream of hers is an undoubted reality. And it’s a reality she is fast learning to loathe.

Attention, Knightley has found, is not always good. Not when you’re being constantly harassed by paparazzi wherever you go and especially not when pictures of you looking skinny are heralded in a U.K.newspaper as the reason for a young girl’s death from anorexia.

The story angered Knightley enough for her to take the paper to court, and she was recently awarded £3,000 in damages for what she described as entirely false and deeply offensive allegations. The money, along with another £3,000 out of Knightley’s pocket, will go to beat, a charity for people with eating disorders.

Together, with the constant scrutiny of prying reporters and the relentless, intrusive flash of the cameras, the incident appears to have left the young actress jaded. Knightley has expressed admiration for the full-figured Beth Ditto, the lead vocalist of The Gossip, and admitted that she would love to have the curves of The Matrix star Monica Bellucci.

The more people have focussed on her, the more she seems to have looked at herself, her image, and more importantly, her ambitions. Previously, Knightley has taken on project after project out of the fear that her new-found-fame might ebb. Now, it appears, that might be exactly what she wants.

Here, Knightley opens her heart about her fame, anorexia, the darker side of living out her dreams, and explains why she’s thinking of quitting Hollywood altogether.

Q: Why didn’t you go to the Oscars this year?
A: I do love going out and getting dressed up as much as the next girl but I wouldn’t just turn up at the Oscars for that reason. I wasn’t in any film that was nominated so really, there was no place for me there.

And to be truthful, I’m just completely rubbish at those sorts of events. I’ve become completely phobic about the red carpet because you just get so scrutinized and all I think is, ‘I’m going to be in the Top Ten Worst Dressed.’
Q: You are always praised for your fashion choices. Whose style do you admire?
A: I try, I really do, but I’m just no good at that stuff. I look at Helena Bonham Carter, who just wears whatever she wants and looks amazing. Or Cate Blanchett, who is so stunning and so completely stylish and perfect that she looks almost like a living statue.

Q: Do you enjoy attending celebrity events?
A: I just never feel comfortable. At the parties, I stand on my own, grinning aimlessly, desperate for it all to be over. I can never think of a thing to say. I wish I was Sienna Miller. I watch that girl and she’s just fabulous. She talks to everyone and laughs and smiles and looks as if she is genuinely enjoying herself. When I talk to her, I hope a bit of her party personality will rub off on me but it never does. She could give master classes in being the most amazing party guest. I really actively now try and avoid parties. My idea of a good night is just hanging out with my mates. Actually, my best night out for ages was going to see The Gossip at a club in London.

Q: What do you think of The Gossip’s flamboyant singer, Beth Ditto?
A: She is just amazing. And she’s so sexy. She really is. When she was performing, she started taking all her clothes off. I stood there watching her strip thinking, ‘Oh my God, that woman is so sexy.’ She has the most amazing body.

Q: If you could look like one Hollywood star, who would it be?
A: If I’m honest I would sit here and say that I wish I had a body like Monica Bellucci which is just so female and curvy. But I’m not going to do that because then I am falling into that trap of saying you are not happy with what you have. I wish I had longer legs but I [don’t]. What I have does its job. And ironically, I’m learning to become happier with myself as a result of all this.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years? Will you still be acting?
A: You know, acting was the only thing I ever wanted to do. But to be honest, I can see myself in five years or whatever just giving the whole thing up. I honestly would. I’d just do something else and move on. I can see things getting to the point where I just can’t do this anymore.

Q: How is your relationship with Rupert Friend going?
A: I just can’t go into personal relationships; you have to keep something private.

Q: You were criticized recently after photographs were taken of you looking thin in a bikini. How did that make you feel?
A: I was completely devastated by all that. Yes, I am thin. And yes, to be honest, I looked very thin in those photos, but they were taken immediately after filming Pirates and I had lost weight. They weren’t publicity shots, they were pictures just snapped. I do a lot of action films, but none of them are more physically gruelling than Pirates, where we are filming in searing temperatures and shooting fight scenes in which you are wearing a wetsuit underneath a load of corsets and you are fighting with heavy weights in the water. Can you imagine a more advanced cardio workout than that done hour after hour?

Q: Is it fair to blame celebrities for teenage anorexia?
A: When all that blew up I felt terrible. It was as if I was being made to seem as if I was promoting something, when I absolutely was not. I am thin because that’s what I am and I was thinner at a point because of the work that I do. Nothing else. I took it very seriously. I went to the doctor to be checked out and asked him what I could do to put on weight.

Q: What did the doctor tell you?
A: He said that for someone of my body type to get to a size 12, I would just have to eat a lot of s**t food and stop exercising. Basically, my body type is naturally thin. There is nothing I can do about it. I can manipulate my body to be bigger – which I did when I was filming King Arthur, by eating loads of proteins and drinking loads of protein shakes – and I did manage to bulk myself out. But I don’t want to have to go round eating c**p and being really unhealthy in order for people to stop having a go at me.

Q: What would you say to teenagers who look at photographs of you and wish they were thinner?
A: I don’t want my picture to be on anorexia websites. But I also know enough about that disease to know that it is a mental illness. What I want to say is just be happy with what you are and be healthy, but that means nothing to someone with a mental illness – someone who at 56 lbs still thinks of themselves as fat.

I wouldn’t dare be so patronizing. It is true that there are people who manipulate their bodies in this business one way or the other. My concern for myself is to be healthy. We have become completely body-obsessed. We all have to conform to one shape, but I don’t see it’s an issue just about size. I think we should appreciate the beauty of older women, as well as younger women, but that just doesn’t happen.

I hate the idea that anyone manipulates their body. But I also hate the fact that naturally thin women like me are becoming scapegoats for promoting a mental illness like anorexia.

Q: What is your opinion on the raging size 0 debate?
A: I don’t know why people are so obsessed. All those pictures of celebrities. Are they fat, are they thin? Have they got spots? Young female celebrities all over the magazines – it’s just horrible.

Q: What do you find most difficult about being a Hollywood star?
A: Every morning there are 10 men outside my flat. They are there from 9 a.m. until after midnight, with cameras, video cameras, chairs, cars, motorbikes, everything. The whole celebrity thing is just completely crazy. The paparazzi are not just crazy, but they are dangerous. Young women are driven into mental breakdowns because of them.

Q: Why do you think so many young female celebrities are checking into rehab?
A: Rehab has just become a safe house. I look at Britney Spears and see what torture she’s going through and then I think of what I put up with and what she must have to put up with multiplied by 100 and it just makes me want to cry.

Q: Do you ever feel threatened by paparazzi?
A: We are being hunted. I don’t own a car because I can’t drive in London because I get chased and it’s too dangerous. If I get into a cab, then I’m risking not just my own safety, but the safety of everyone else around me. The cab driver always freaks and drives just looking in the rear view mirror, which means he’s not concentrating on the road.

I swear someone could get killed because of this stupid situation. It won’t be the celebrity. It won’t be the paparazzi. It will be someone’s child caught up in the middle of this madness. It got to the point where I truly thought I was going mad. Imagine having a camera in your face, men following you all the time. I got so paranoid, all the time I was thinking, ‘Is someone watching me?’ because they were. I told my mum that this is what schizophrenic people are like, that’s what I had become. You see yourself tipping into madness.

Q: Do you ever wish you weren’t famous?
A: I know anyone listening to me could think I’m just being totally dramatic. That I’m this spoilt little movie star with lots of money, a lovely apartment and great life, why should I be complaining? But it’s just got too much. I’m not just talking about myself. I’m talking about other young women like me. This isn’t what I wanted from being an actress. I don’t court it.

Q: Do you still enjoy being an actress?
A: I think I just have to move away or give it up altogether. I couldn’t have kids in the situation. I’m in now. But I could just do something else. That’s probably what’s going to happen. I’m just not so hungry anymore. I made a decision very recently that I want a life instead.

Q: How long have you been feeling this way for?
A: Basically I’ve been in a bit of a state for a while. I haven’t had any sort of a holiday since I was 15. When I first got into acting, I was so terrified work would dry up I just went from one project into another and never stopped.

Q: When did you decide to take a break from acting?
A: I stopped working last November. I had to. I’d got to a body breakdown. I felt I had permanent jet lag and couldn’t mentally or physically adjust. I had a apartment I’d bought but never lived in, friends I loved but never got to see. I just wanted to have a bit of a normal life. I also wanted to go on holiday, so I went to Greece before Christmas, which was amazing.

Q: Is it true your Atonement co-star James McAvoy advised you to take a break in the Himalayas?
A: I couldn’t really take all the pressure of being followed around. I was talking to James McAvoy and his wife Ann-Marie, who are just fantastic. James is this total mad adventurer who does all sorts of crazy things. He just said to me that there was a big world out there and I needed to get out of my world and into a bigger one. He suggested trekking in the Himalayas. I just thought, ‘why not?’ and went. I spent 10 days in a place where no one knew me or cared what films I’d been in.

Q: Did it help you to relax and get things in perspective?
A: Absolutely. We spent days trekking and nights sleeping in little guest houses with barely any electricity or hot water. It was so cold you just had to sleep in your clothes and it was completely liberating and wonderful. I got to have some total peace and balance and see myself as a tiny little insignificant speck – something I really needed.